Dear RUF,
I wrote one of these last year, and I promise I didn't intend this to be a series, but I really enjoyed writing it last year so I figured I'd do it again. It's a really great time of self reflection and realizing how Jesus is continually working in and through my life.
Let's talk about Summer Conference for a second. For those of you who don't know, Summer Conference, or as the cool kids call it 'SuCo', is a week long retreat at the beach, filled with awesome seminars and an awesome time at the beach. I know it's kind of a joke to say, "come to SuCo, it'll change your life," but I'd like to put forth the idea that that's true. A year ago I went to the 'Depression and Anxiety' and 'Counseling' 2 day seminars, and today I'm sitting here writing to you currently in counseling and taking medication for my anxiety.
I can draw a direct line from that first summer conference to the fact that I'm sitting here writing this. That to me, is awesome. Not the hyperbolic awesome, but the real, true awesome. I am so incredibly thankful for that week and the grace God has shown me through it. So thank you to Sammy Rhodes, Lee Wright, and the entire RUF crew that makes Summer Conference happen. It's much more than a week at the beach. God's doing great work, please don't forget that.
Another big thing for me this last year has been a shift in my view of dating, specifically the aspect of singleness. Our first semester topic this year was Dating and Relationships, and goodness me I'm so thankful for it. I can't tell you how many nights me and my roommates stayed up talking about the ideas surrounding dating and sex and marriage that were presented to us.
Anyways.
Talking to my friends about this, we kind of came to the conclusion that that the church doesn't do a good job of approaching the topic of singlness. There's a lot of pressure in the church, and even in my family *cough mom and dad ;)* to get married, and to get married fast. That leads to a lot of stress, and to a guy who falls really hard and really fast for people, that's a lot of unnecessary pressure on just dating in general.
I love this quote from Barry Danylak about the goodness that both singleness and marriage bring, from his book 'Redeeming Singleness', saying, "Christian marriage is a testimony of the utterly faithful and unchanging love of God for his people in a permanent covenant relationship with him; Christian singleness is a testimony to the complete sufficiency of Christ for the present age and gives visible witness to the hope of our eternal inheritance yet to come."
I remember talking to Mattdawg, our now former intern, about the singleness seminar. He told me that going to the seminar gave him the confidence to ask his now fiance/wife (depending on when you read this, they're getting married Saturday eeep!!) on a date, and now I totally understand why. Being single is OKAY. There's just as much grace in singleness than there is in dating or marriage, and there is so much freedom in that.
Speaking of freedom, I think I really and truly understand what the gospel means. That even though I'm going to mess up, and mess up a lot, there is still enough grace for me. That my Father not only loves me, but wants to love me. There's a lot of freedom in that y'all. Sanctification really is a process of realizing how messed up I am, and inversely how much Jesus loves me.
Like I said earlier, that's awesome. Not hyperbolic awesome, but really and truly awesome.
I don't really know how to end this. So thanks for reading. If you're a senior about to head to college and want to know more about RUF, I'd love to talk to you about it. If you're one of my many friends here at State or across the country, I love you guys. Thanks for continuing to love and support me. If you're mom or dad, maybe we have some stuff to talk about ;) If you're part of RUF in any way, thank you for the impact you've had on my life. Thank you, really and truly.
Keep chasing Him,
Collin
Sunday, November 6, 2016
To My Roommates
Living with these three guys has taught me a lot.
First things first: I'm not as great as I think I am.
Sharing a house with three guys has really shown me my insecurity.
I'm always trying to prove myself.
Always trying to be the "man of the house."
Always trying to be better than the others.
My identity isn't secure in Christ,
instead it's wrapped up in what other people think of me.
Second thing: I'm beyond lazy.
I don't do the best job of cleaning up.
I mean, if nessecary I will.
Thank goodness we have Freshmen Movie Night at our house on tuesdays,
or this house would never get cleaned.
But I'll always leave wrappers on the couch, or laundry on my floor.
Let's not even mention my car.
Main thing, I'm too much of a slob.
Third thing: I need people who are excited with me.
Big thing I've realized is that having roommates is just a small taste of marriage.
I chose to live with these three guys,
and with that comes learning how to operate around each other.
With that in mind, another thing living with these guys has taught me,
is that I really need to marry someone who loves the same things I do.
Or at the very least, loves to see me excited about those things.
This isn't me throwing shade.
They're allowed to love their own things, and not to love mine.
But sometimes it's just super draining.
I'm a super passionate person, and when I love something,
I really love it.
And when I'm really passionate about something, I love to talk about.
I love to discuss it. Love to dive in deep as to why I love it.
I just... don't really feel like I can do that with them.
But.
I think they've also shown me a glimpse of God's grace.
I mean. They haven't kicked me out yet, have they?
There's a lot of love in my heart for these guys.
There's so many laughs, and wonderful experiences, and incredible things
that living with these guys has brought me.
And man, I'm unbelievably thankful for them.
Even if they eat my leftovers, or get in my bed without asking,
or even purposefully screwing me over in Super Smash,
there's still so much love for each of them.
You guys have shown me what living for Christ should look like.
You put up with my insecurity,
you tolerate my laziness,
you'll even let me show you that incredible GoPro Lion video.
You even help me work with and around my anxiety.
You've shown me His love and grace and I consider myself incredibly blessed.
So thanks guys.
Here's to a few more semesters, I hope.
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