Top 10 Movies of the Decade

It's my favorite time of the year: it's favorite-list making time.

This year is extra special. Being the end of the decade, it gives me the excuse to give you my top 10 of the decade. (My top 10 of 2019 is coming soon! There's still a few films I need to see before I can finalize it.)

Until then let's look back at what I think are the best films of the 2010s.

Let start with a few honorable mentions: First Man, Knives Out, Snowpiercer, all three Mission Impossible films, Dunkirk, Logan, It, The Planet of the Apes Trilogy, Bad Times at the El Royale, Lean on Pete, Avengers: Endgame, Drive, Eighth Grade, and of course: La La Land.

10. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse.
This is the movie I'm going to show my future kids to not only introduce them to who Spider-man is and the superhero genre in general, but just how beautiful cinema is. This movie is a breath of fresh air, as both an animated film and a superhero flick. It's a leap in animation technology, and watching it on the big screen was an amazing experience, one that hasn't lessened watching it at home. Throw in an incredible soundtrack and a phenomenal story, and Spider-verse is one of the best of the decade.

9. Her.
Her is such a special film. Spike Jonze knocked this one fully out of the park and into the next state. It's brilliant, funny, sincere, moving, genuine and a plethora of other adjectives. It's a brilliant look at our desire for relationships and what it takes to make meaningful ones. Joaquin Phoenix gives maybe his best performance as Theodore, Scarlett Johansson gives the best vocal performance I've ever heard, and Amy Adams continues to show why she's the best in the business. (More on her later.) This movie is special, there's not one quick like it.

8. Inception.
When I was trying to come up with my top 10, this was originally the one I was most iffy on. So I had a movie night with some friends to try and figure out if it belongs on this list. I'm ashamed to admit I doubted this movie. Both an incredible technical achievement, from a visual effects and script point of view, but also one that's grounded in grief and moving on. This movie continues to blow my mind each and every time I watch it. Chris Nolan is one of the best directors out there, and I'll watch anything he does until the day I die.

7. Mad Max: Fury Road.
This is one of the best action movie ever made. George Miller somehow provides us with a never ending car chase that is both thrilling and exciting and simple and elegant all at once This movie is the phrase "show, don't tell" personified. It's utterly astonishing. Charlize Theron plays one of the best characters of the year as Furiosa, and Tom Hardy is the perfect Max. Here's maybe my boldest claim in this list: Mad Max: Fury Road is as close to a perfect film as we will ever accomplish.

6. Get Out.
How is this someones first film? This is one of the smartest films I've ever seen. Like inception, there are so many layers to sift through. It's brilliant, it's smart, it's funny, it's absolutely genius. This is a movie everyone needs to watch, even if you're not a horror fan. This is also one of my favorite theater experiences of all time. I will never forget the entire theater erupting into cheers at the end. There's nothing quite like Get Out.

5. Paddington 2.
Listen, I was as skeptical as you are. "How in the world does Paddington 2 have a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes?" This is a movie I'll be watching until the day I die. This movie is pure joy, and I love every single second of it. From Hugh Grant's incredible performance as our villain, to Brendan Gleeson saying "marmalade," Paddington 2 hits every beat flawlessly. I left with happy tears at the end. I firmly believe if everyone watched the Paddington series, the world would be a better place.

4. Blade Runner 2049.
Where to even begin with this movie. Blade Runner 2049 is the kind of movie that makes me love movies. Denis Villeneuve continues to show us that he is one of the best working today. Everything about this film works flawlessly. One of the best scores in recent memory, as well as some of the most beautiful cinematography you'll ever see. 2049 is one of those rare sequels that not only surpasses the original, but enhances it as well. It's haunting, it's beautiful, and above all: it's human.

3. The Social Network.
This is one of those films that is endlessly re-watchable. The blend of David Fincher's directing style and Aaron Sorkin's dialogue makes this movie one of a kind and works on every level you can think of. I've heard this described as an action movie but with words and I think it's a perfect description. The acting across the board is top notch, but I want to give a special shout out to my boy Andrew Garfield. How he wasn't even nominated for an Oscar, I'll never know. #JusticeForAndrew

2. Whiplash.
This is a film that captures your entire existence. There isn't a film that is as absolutely kinetic as this one. It's a film that you'll have to clear out an extra hour for, just to decompress. Damien Chazelle gives us what I consider to be a modern classic in Whiplash. Absolutely everything works in perfect tempo. Miles Teller and J.K Simmons are magnificent, the score is heart pounding, and the ending is one of my favorites ever. Whiplash will forever be one of my favorites. 

1. Arrival.
Oh Arrival. Why do we continue to make films when this movie exists? Once again, Denis Villeneuve shows us that he's a master. I left the theater the first time in a trance. I was spellbound the whole way through. This movie doesn't exist without Amy Adams. Her performance as Louise Banks is the best performance of her career, of the decade, maybe even ever. This is a movie I'll recommend until my dying breath. Without question, Arrival is the best film of this decade.

My Top Films of 2018

Lists! Movies! Lists about movies! It's the end of 2018 and it's time for my yearly list of my top movies of the year. As usual, these are not necessarily the best films of the year (though I think a few of them are) but a list of my favorites. Films I loved and films I'll be revisiting many times in the future. There's still a few movies out there that I want to get my hands on, but for the most part I saw everything I wanted to see this year. If our lists differ, awesome! I want to know what your favorite movies of the year were!

I want to start by giving out my honorable mentions. These are films that I loved that I think are worth seeing, even if they didn't crack my top ten.Those are: Upgrade, Outlaw King, Thoroughbreds, The Favourite, A Star is Born, and Eighth Grade. And if you only choose to watch one of those, make sure its Eighth Grade. Bo Burnham really gave us something special with his directorial debut.

So let's get started!

Number 10: American Animals

One of the more interesting films I watched this year. Part documentary, part cinematic reenactment, American Animals tells the true story of four college guys in Lexington, Kentucky who attempt one of the most audacious art heists in the history of the United States. By intertwining interviews with the actual art thieves and a beautifully reenactment with some stellar performances, the film succeeds in taking you through this experience. That's why it has to end up on my top ten. I feel like I went through this experience with these guys. From the exciting hope, to the crushing anxiety, to the overwhelming sense of dread. It took me an hour and some calming music in order to restrain my own anxiety after this film. One of the most intense experiences I've had this year, and well worth the watch.

Number 9: Avengers: Infinity War.

Yeah yeah, I know. A Marvel superhero movie in a twenty somethings white guy's top ten list. But look, all film's subjective and the MCU has been a huge part of my life for the past 10 years. To watch it all pay off in the way this movie does was more than satisfying. I also think it has some interesting story decisions built within in. It's a classic Shakespearean tragedy, which is crazy to see in a summer blockbuster. But what really cemented its place in my top ten was the theater experience. This was by far my favorite theater of experience of 2018. Watching and cheering along with a theater full of people is the way these types of movies should be experienced.

Number 8: A Quiet Place

As soon as I walked out of the theater, I had a feeling I'd see it here on my top ten list. John Krasinski had one heck of a directorial debut. Easily one of the most original films of 2018 in both its concept and execution. Yet even with it's science fiction - horror elements, at its heart is a story about the length that parents go to to protect their children.  All of the characters are so well defined, which is incredible to think about given how little dialogue there is in this film. /That moment/ with Krasinski's character is one of my favorite moments this year. If you told me I'd leave the theater in tears after watching a horror film, I'd call you crazy, yet here we are.

Number 7: Lean On Pete

Yes, somehow the horse movie made my top ten. But don't get me wrong, this isn't your typical horse girl movie. This is one of the rawest, emotional films I saw this year. It would have been very easy for this to stray either too far into your typical horse flick or your typical melodrama, but Lean On Pete rides that line perfectly and ends up being extremely raw and human. Part of that success is the wonderful direction by Andrew Haigh, but most of that success belongs to newcomer Charlie Plummer. He delivers one of my favorite performances of the year and I can't wait to see his career flourish.

Number 6: Roma

This film is near perfect. I'm a huge fan of Alfonso Cuaron. He's given us the modern classics that is Children of Men, he's given us one of the best science fiction movies in Gravity, and he changed the Harry Potter universe forever with The Prisoner of Azkaban. But with Roma he delivers by far his most personal film yet. Roma is near flawless. It feels alive, it feels real, it feels human. The technical achievements are jaw dropping and I was in a state of constant awe. It's by far the most beautiful shot film of the year. And when my jaw wasn't on the floor, there were tears in my eyes. Roma is truly as good as it gets.

Number 5: Bad Times at the El Royale

With an all star cast, including Jon Hamm, Jeff Bridges, Dakota Johnson, and Chris Hemsworth as the standout villain, Bad Times at the El Royale is one of the best thrillers in recent memory. With some of the best production design and cinematography this year, Drew Godard really establishes the El Royale as a real physical place that only adds to the intensity of the film. Add on top of all that with some themes of morality and religion, you've got basically the perfect "Collin movie." I'm going to be revisiting this one for years to come.

Number 4: Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

Into the Spiderverse is easily the best animated movie of the year. It's even the best superhero film of the year, and one of the best since The Dark Knight. Trust me when I say you haven't seen a film like this before. The animation itself is worth the price of admission, but the true heart of this film is in its beautifully crafted characters. This is the movie I'm going to show my future kids to not only introduce them to who spider-man is and the superhero genre in general, but introduce them to just how beautiful cinema can really be. This movie is a breath of fresh air, it's truly phenomenal. 

Number 3: Mission Impossible: Fallout

If you injected this movie straight into my veins for the rest of my life, I'd never need to sleep again. This is the best action film of the year, and the second best of this past decade (right before Fury Road.) Tom Cruise is a mad man, I'll never get over seeing that HALO jump for the first time. It's the absolute best version of this film that could possibly exist. It knows what it is and executes it flawlessly. Not only does this film stand on its own, but it's also a love letter to all the ones to come before it. Plus watching Henry Cavill's shotgun arms is one of the purest cinematic pleasures of 2018.

Number 2: Paddington 2

Speaking of purest cinematic pleasures, a purer movie doesn't exist than Paddington 2. I believe whole heartedly, if everyone watched this movie the world would be a better place. The performances across the board are all wonderful, and this is by far Hugh Grants best performance to date. This movie hits every beat flawlessly and left me crying happy tears at the end. I'll be re-watching this movie until I die.

Number 1: First Man

Damien Chazelle has made two of my favorite films of all time. La La Land never fails to bring me joy, and Whiplash is a film that will be remembered as a classic, I'm sure of it. Somehow Chazelle does it again with First Man. I love this movie with all my heart. This movie takes a big risk. Instead of making a film about the moon landing itself, it chooses to show it through the subjective and emotional point of view of Niel Armstrong. It starts with him joining NASA, and ends with him returning to his wife. I won't spoil anything, but the emotional through line of this movie is paid off in such a way that left me floored. The technical achievements are astounding. Damien Chazelle decides to play everything from a subjective perspective. You're inside the spacecraft everytime, I don't believe you're ever outside of it while its in flight. It feels like you're right there with them. Let me tell you, the first shot on the moon took my breath away. Ryan Gosling is brilliant as usual and Claire Foy is the truly the anchor this movie needed. Chazelle took me to the moon and my little space boy heart can never repay him for it.

Judging a Film Within its Context: Avengers Infinity War

           

 

              I was 14 when Captain America: The First Avenger first came to theaters. It was one of the first films that I remember getting super excited about seeing in the theater. (For most of my childhood, I hated the theater; sorry mom and dad.) So excited in fact, that I made my very own Captain America shield out of cardboard and duct tape. I remember being completely exhilarated and unashamed, as a cute girl asked for a picture with me, or the manager of the movie theater walking by and complimenting my efforts and hoping that I enjoyed the film.

                I’ve grown up with the Avengers. The first Iron Man came out when I was 11 years old. I’m 21 now, so for all intents and purposes that’s half my lifetime. They started coming out right when I started to really get into movies. The First Avenger really gave me my first look into a movie that had ideas of morality and right and wrong that I as a kid could understand and digest.

                Here I am, 7 years later, a little older, a little wiser, and a few different Avengers movies sitting on my movie shelf to my right. My movie taste has grown with me. I’ve started to go past surface level and really dig deep into what makes a movie great. No longer am I purely enraptured by the action or seeing my favorite superhero on screen, but I’m entranced by good story telling.

                Good storytelling. 19 different movies, different stories, are now part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Each movie interconnected with the next and each movie pushes the narrative of the universe as a whole. That’s unprecedented in film history.

                That leaves me with a bit of a problem. Avengers: Infinity War is the culmination of 10 years of film. It’s impossible to judge it based on just the film itself, and there’s a large part of me that think it needs to be. It needs to be judged as a singular entity, just like every other movie out there. I want to treat it like I would La La Land, or Get Out, or Mad Max: Fury Road. I want to think through it and review like I would any other film that I go see in the theater.

                But here’s the thing: context matters. Every film is surrounded by outside context. Would Get Out have been so successful and so incredible if it didn’t come out when it did? Even Fury Road has context, desire it being a removed sequel, being released during 2015 during a resurgence of the feminist movement. Outside influences will always affect how we view films. That can be socially or personally. La La Land doesn’t affect everyone like it affects me, sadly.
                Any movie I’ve ever seen won’t be judged purely on its own merits. There will always be outside contexts that will affect how I view a film.

                This leads me back to Avengers: Infinity War. The fact remains, that it is the culmination of 10 years, 19 different films. It’s not fair to judge it out of that context, just like it would be unfair to Get Out to judge it out of its context. Whether or not you’re tired of the context is a different story altogether, but Infinity War needs to be seen as the end game of the MCU. It’s unfair to it to be seen as anything else.

                So I’ll be there at 7 PM, my butt in the theater, incredibly excited for the end of this chapter. There will be plenty of laughing, plenty of shocked expressions, and plenty of tears I’m sure. (There will be open weeping if Cap dies.) I’m going to go and enjoy this movie for what it is: the culmination of my childhood.

The Heart of an Android: The Internal Theme of Blade Runner 2049

           I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Blade Runner since I saw it last. I want to see it, three maybe four more times before it leaves theater. This kind of movie that leaves me thinking through all it has to say about the world doesn’t come around very often. While thinking through this film on one of my drives home from work, I think I found something really special buried within the hard outer shell of Blade Runner 2049.

Much like the original Blade Runner, this film deals with the question, “what does it mean to be human?” There’s a lot of different ways this movie attempts to answer this question. Maybe it’s the concept of having a soul, or maybe it’s the ability to have offspring. Maybe that is what the film is trying to get at, that in order to be human we procreate, or have a soul. But while that maybe this film’s answer to its own question, it doesn’t satisfy my desire for a deeper answer to such a profound question.

Before I go on, I implore you to go watch this movie, then come back and read what I have to say. There are spoilers aplenty ahead.

So here it is, here is the answer Blade Runner 2049 gives to its big and overbearing question.

Love.

That’s right, and not just any love, sacrificial love.

Cheesy, yes. But don’t click out of the article yet, hear me out. I think there’s a compelling case here that I’m going to attempt to lay out for you.

The movie operates around three key relationships, or lack thereof: K and Joi, K and Deckard, and Deckard and his daughter.

One of the aspects of this film that I found most compelling was K and Joi’s relationship. Joi is essentially a holographic girlfriend. Much like K and the rest of the replicant’s we aren’t necessarily sure how she works. We know she’s a projector, but there’s some degree of facial, expression mapping. She scrolls through dresses and gauges K’s reaction accordingly. All the way through her arc I remember thinking to myself how interesting this dynamic of the degrees of artificiality is. But after getting home and thinking through it some more, the more I realize that that relationship is really messed up. Essentially the slave has a slave.

But then we get this beautiful moment, when K downloads her into the emanator and takes her outside for the first time. K walks out onto the roof while it’s pouring rain, and Joi follows suit. As the rain falls through her holographic image, she pauses, and watches her hand and she adjusts to the rain, and essentially mapping it to her skin. This moment is key, Joi is essentially adjusting to her new reality. Who she is has inherently changed and the movie takes time to show this. We’ll come back to this later.

Then we get this key moment when Luv steps on the imitator and essentially kills Joi. The music swells and she says “I love y….” And dies. I find people’s reaction to this fascinating. Most people I talked too, didn’t feel much at all. Even me, only felt a tinge of sadness during this moment. None of the audience views this relationship as having real love. Even K, in the back of his mind, knows it too. Yet he desperately wants it to be true.

One of the questions of the movie is K trying to figure out what it really means to be human. I believe he is trying to answer that question through Joi. Everything around him is making him aware he’s not human. His boss, his coworkers, his housemates. Once he gets home, it’s his opportunity to play house essentially. He comes home to something he can control, to some sense of what he feels like is normal. That’s essentially K and Joi’s relationship.

This brings us to the next key moment of the film, when K believes that he is the kid he’s been looking for. Think about how world crushing that would be. To believe that you were essentially a robot your entire existence, and then suddenly be told that you were human? You had a mother and father? Think about how soul crushing that would be.

And again, the movie pauses and gives us a moment to reflect on this. K stands out in the snow, holds out his hand, and watches the snowflakes softly land on his hand. A callback to Joi’s moment earlier in the film, this is K adjusting to his new reality. This reality that he believes makes him human.

Then we get K and Deckard’s relationship. Here I think is where he learns what it truly means to be human. At this point, K still believes he is Deckard’s son, so he confronts him about leaving. He’s hostile about it, as anyone would be. Deckard finally breaks and says to K, “Sometimes to love someone, you have to be a stranger.”

In order for his child to have a life, Deckard had to give up his relationship with his child. To protect his child, he couldn’t ever speak to her. He couldn’t watch her grow up. His child would never know who he was, and he did that out of love. He sacrificed whatever desire he had at being a father, for the life of his child.

The end of the film, K takes Deckard to see his daughter. They both exit his vehicle and walk to the steps, covered in snow. Deckard asks if he’s alright, K nods, and Deckard leaves him to go inside.

Once again, the movie pauses. K slowly sits on the steps holds his hand out and watches the snowflakes land on his hand. Here I think he realizes what true love really is. He sacrificed his life for Deckard and his daughter. All he wanted all along was to be loved. Every billboard we see of Joi tells us two things, “Everything you want to see and hear.” Throughout the film, she tells him how happy she is with him and that she loves him. He longs for it, even if he knows that relationship isn’t real.

K’s new reality is that he now knows that true love means sacrifice.

Finally Deckard walks into the building, only to find his daughter holding out her hand in the middle of a snowstorm. The movie gives us a close up shot of her hand before she turns to him and gives the last line of film.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

Why I'm tired all the time. (i.e. my struggle with depression)

I'd like to start by acknowledging the fact that I'm prone to the dramatic.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm very hyperbolic.

I exaggerate all the time and I'm prone to romanticize things.



That being said.

I don't think I'm doing so here.

I'm going to try and spell out sort of what I deal with on a day to day basis.

I've been wanting to write about this for a long time now but never felt like I could put it into words.

You know that feeling when you try to get out of bed,

but you were up later than you should have,

and you're waking up way earlier than you should be.

How you have to gather that energy and strength to roll out of bed and start your day?

Just imagine that feeling and apply it to every choice or decision I have to make.

Every time I have to do something it's the same deal.

I'd much rather sit where I was.

Most likely curled up in a blanket. 

Hopefully curled up in my bed.

And I'd rather do that than anything else. 

I'm constantly having to exert more energy than is necessary to do simple tasks.

I feel like I do most things purely out of survival.

If it's going to affect me in a very negative way, I can muster the energy to get it done.

But if it doesn't require my immediate attention, and I'm not going to suffer in the now, it's probably not gonna get done.

This is why the handle on the trunk of my car has been broken for well over a year, even though I bought the part.

My brain's a dark place.

Left alone and I freak myself out.

So I'm constantly distracting myself.

I also feel like that's a big reason why I love film and media in general.

For two hours I can exist outside of myself.

My brain is fully occupied with the world the movie presents.

I get to leave my negative head, and go live elsewhere.

I also realized why this is so dangerous.

The only thing that makes this better is taking charge of it.

Doing better with schedules. 

Thinking about the future instead of the now.

But that requires energy.

Energy that I don't have.

Energy that I already covet.

And after reading this over and over again, I think it's time I go back to counseling.

I don't think this is right, and I don't think this is how it should be.

and that's the most positive way I can think to end this.

Dear RUF: Part 2

Dear RUF,

I wrote one of these last year, and I promise I didn't intend this to be a series, but I really enjoyed writing it last year so I figured I'd do it again. It's a really great time of self reflection and realizing how Jesus is continually working in and through my life.

Let's talk about Summer Conference for a second. For those of you who don't know, Summer Conference, or as the cool kids call it 'SuCo', is a week long retreat at the beach, filled with awesome seminars and an awesome time at the beach. I know it's kind of a joke to say, "come to SuCo, it'll change your life," but I'd like to put forth the idea that that's true. A year ago I went to the 'Depression and Anxiety' and 'Counseling' 2 day seminars, and today I'm sitting here writing to you currently in counseling and taking medication for my anxiety.

I can draw a direct line from that first summer conference to the fact that I'm sitting here writing this. That to me, is awesome. Not the hyperbolic awesome, but the real, true awesome. I am so incredibly thankful for that week and the grace God has shown me through it. So thank you to Sammy Rhodes, Lee Wright, and the entire RUF crew that makes Summer Conference happen. It's much more than a week at the beach. God's doing great work, please don't forget that.

Another big thing for me this last year has been a shift in my view of dating, specifically the aspect of singleness. Our first semester topic this year was Dating and Relationships, and goodness me I'm so thankful for it. I can't tell you how many nights me and my roommates stayed up talking about the ideas surrounding dating and sex and marriage that were presented to us.

Anyways.

Talking to my friends about this, we kind of came to the conclusion that that the church doesn't do a good job of approaching the topic of singlness. There's a lot of pressure in the church, and even in my family *cough mom and dad ;)* to get married, and to get married fast. That leads to a lot of stress, and to a guy who falls really hard and really fast for people, that's a lot of unnecessary pressure on just dating in general.

I love this quote from Barry Danylak about the goodness that both singleness and marriage bring, from his book 'Redeeming Singleness', saying, "Christian marriage is a testimony of the utterly faithful and unchanging love of God for his people in a permanent covenant relationship with him; Christian singleness is a testimony to the complete sufficiency of Christ for the present age and gives visible witness to the hope of our eternal inheritance yet to come."

I remember talking to Mattdawg, our now former intern, about the singleness seminar. He told me that going to the seminar gave him the confidence to ask his now fiance/wife (depending on when you read this, they're getting married Saturday eeep!!) on a date, and now I totally understand why. Being single is OKAY. There's just as much grace in singleness than there is in dating or marriage, and there is so much freedom in that.

Speaking of freedom, I think I really and truly understand what the gospel means. That even though I'm going to mess up, and mess up a lot, there is still enough grace for me. That my Father not only loves me, but wants to love me. There's a lot of freedom in that y'all. Sanctification really is a process of realizing how messed up I am, and inversely how much Jesus loves me.

Like I said earlier, that's awesome. Not hyperbolic awesome, but really and truly awesome.

I don't really know how to end this. So thanks for reading. If you're a senior about to head to college and want to know more about RUF, I'd love to talk to you about it. If you're one of my many friends here at State or across the country, I love you guys. Thanks for continuing to love and support me. If you're mom or dad, maybe we have some stuff to talk about ;) If you're part of RUF in any way, thank you for the impact you've had on my life. Thank you, really and truly.

Keep chasing Him,

Collin

To My Roommates

Living with these three guys has taught me a lot.

First things first: I'm not as great as I think I am.

Sharing a house with three guys has really shown me my insecurity.

I'm always trying to prove myself.

Always trying to be the "man of the house."

Always trying to be better than the others.

My identity isn't secure in Christ, 

instead it's wrapped up in what other people think of me.

Second thing: I'm beyond lazy.

I don't do the best job of cleaning up.

I mean, if nessecary I will.

Thank goodness we have Freshmen Movie Night at our house on tuesdays,

or this house would never get cleaned.

But I'll always leave wrappers on the couch, or laundry on my floor. 

Let's not even mention my car.

Main thing, I'm too much of a slob.

Third thing: I need people who are excited with me.

Big thing I've realized is that having roommates is just a small taste of marriage.

I chose to live with these three guys, 

and with that comes learning how to operate around each other.

With that in mind, another thing living with these guys has taught me,

is that I really need to marry someone who loves the same things I do.

Or at the very least, loves to see me excited about those things.

  

This isn't me throwing shade.

They're allowed to love their own things, and not to love mine.

 But sometimes it's just super draining.

I'm a super passionate person, and when I love something,

I really love it.

And when I'm really passionate about something, I love to talk about.

I love to discuss it. Love to dive in deep as to why I love it. 

I just... don't really feel like I can do that with them.

But.

I think they've also shown me a glimpse of God's grace.

I mean. They haven't kicked me out yet, have they?

There's a lot of love in my heart for these guys.

There's so many laughs, and wonderful experiences, and incredible things

 that living with these guys has brought me.

And man, I'm unbelievably thankful for them.

Even if they eat my leftovers, or get in my bed without asking,

or even purposefully screwing me over in Super Smash,

there's still so much love for each of them.

You guys have shown me what living for Christ should look like.

You put up with my insecurity,

you tolerate my laziness,

you'll even let me show you that incredible GoPro Lion video.

You even help me work with and around my anxiety.

You've shown me His love and grace and I consider myself incredibly blessed.

 So thanks guys.

Here's to a few more semesters, I hope.